Eat Your Vegetables Punch Your Cat

I am supposed to write an article about Ryan and Evan's dog Brodie Waffles, but fucked if I know what to write. 

Brodie is a he, and a dog, I think he likes dog food. Brodie, might like bacon, but Ryan likes bacon more. Brodie, is yellow and a lab, and suffers from not having a neck due to a tragic water skiing accident when he was a pup. Now Brodie is neckless, this makes for a slight inconvenience when collar shopping. Brodie, once saved a school bus full of blind children from german, pepe, whacking transsexuals, with a rubber hose, and a latex vagina. Brodie is old, and has kicked Chuck Norris in the balls and has lived to tell about it. Brodie once ran for president and won but gave all the powers to George W. Bush. Brodie always wraps his tool, cause he is not a fool. I think he played lead guitar in the popular 90's group Enya, but quit due to creative differences. Fact, Brodie is not allowed to go down stairs. Sources tell me that it takes Brodie Waffles seven minutes to lay down. Brodie is not a Buffalo Bills fan. Brodie gets more ass than a toilet seat. Brodie will drink you under the table because he is a dog, and fits under the table. He has no mother because he manifested himself from the Underverse, and is a Necromonger. One time he drank Mike ditka. Contrary to popular belief, He is not a vampire and will not suck your blood. Brodie always sticks it to the man, but prefers women. He is not dead. Brodie lives in a house? 

Currently he is still living at his parents house in Lakewood NY, trying to write the great american novel. There was a recent Brodie Waffles sighting in Ellicottville NY, but when contacting his people they declined an interview.   

So, that's, like, the Waffles in a nut shell, there are many more tales filled with raping and pillaging, but writing this is wearing me out...I need a drinkie!

Until next time, STAY POKING!!!!! 

P.s Do not forget to drink your bourbon kids. It promotes cardiovascular health, strong bones, and this delightful euphoric feeling know as Shit Faced!! 

P.S.s Sorry about he quality of the photos...Evan suffers form parkinson or some other debilitating disease that dose not allow a human being to hold a camera properly.