Hamsters are cool but pianos with pianos make my life better and hamsters and pianos make hamsters look awesome. Awesome is way better than popcorn, but popcorn tastes sweeet, awesome beats are also cool they helping small kids in the desert....thank you hamsters! 

That first Turn Will Blow Your Mind

So, if you have not seen this vid you are missing out for shiz. Former owner of DC, Ken Block is doing his thing rally style in his bad ass StI....

Yo Dawg I Pimped Your Shit

Yeah You know It's Like That

I heard these guise the other day and was all like, "ohhhh Fuck!!!! That shit is crazy tasty!!!!" MGMT, hot like fire so check the vids, if you like..... DL the album Oracular Spectacular, worth it for sure. MGMT, is from somewhere in upstate NY, and chill in Brooklyn I know they are currently doin' a euro tour, and that's all I know....For now! Most of their vids are "Embedding disabled by request'' which sucks huge donkey pepe. I was able to post one, but I highly encourage you to hit myspace, and youtube for the other vids/songs. Electric Feel and Time to pretend are awesome songs, so don't just sit there go and check them doods!!!!!!  

Sleep In Your Own Tent

So I was browsing the Inter-Googles the other day and I stumbled upon this sweet shit. Lippi's Selk Bag, is this crazy euro invention that is basically a sleeping bag you can walk around in, looking like the freekin' Michelin Man! you can check the Selk bag out at http://www.lippiselkbag.co.uk/.   

Show Me Your Party Face!!!

Kids, it's time you all should meet your crazy uncle Triple, so sit down and listen to what he has to say. You never know you might just learn a thing or two, but most likely he will bring you home all fucked up smelling like booze and sex.

EHS: How long have been partying, and would you consider yourself pro?
TRIPLE: Being a pro would insinuate that i've peaked which i haven't, always improving and evolving

EHS: Favorite party moment?
TRIPLE: The ones i can't remember and hear about later

EHS: Labatts or budlight?
TRIPLE: Labatts and my thoughts on bud light from Drew Magary of Deadspin

"Bud Light. Bud Light makes its return to the Jamboroo. Why? Because I can't get away from their stupid fucking ads all game long. I've seen a lot of idiotic beer campaign strategies in my day, the most egregious of which was the Coors Light "coldest beer in the world" campaign from last year.
But this new Bud Light strategy has it topped for overall, mind-boggling retardery. Yes, it's the DRINKABILITY campaign. In a stunning revelation, it turns out what makes Bud Light so unique is the fact that you can drink it. My God! What a discovery! I've never had a beer I could actually drink before. Usually I pick up a beer and say, "God dammit! I can't drink this beer. IT'S MADE OF PURE STEEL!"

And then I realize I'm trying to drink an All-Clad skillet.

You know which beers are really drinkable, Bud Light people? FUCKING ALL OF THEM. All beer comes in liquid form. It's true! Thus, you can "pour" any beer down your throat, thereby "drinking" it. Amazing. That's science for you.

But it gets even fucking stupider. Every ad in this campaign involves some asshole spokesman walking onto the screen and freezing the action, to give you a thirty second dissertation on just how easily one is able to ingest this shitty, awful beer. I especially like that, for one of the spokespeople, they hired that squirrel-cheeked chick in the #22 jersey who looks exactly like every backup lay you've ever had. She's kinda cute, but not really hot. But she appears to be friendly, and she likes drinking, so you always know you can hit that shit later in the night if need be.

But I usually get that one jackass who walks up to a gently running garden hose and pipes up, "Wouldn't you rather drink out of this," then gestures to a gushing garden hose, "then this?" Well no shit, asshole. Yeah, I'd rather not get the tap water bukkake. BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BEER, SHITHEAD? NO ONE SERVES BEER OUT OF FUCKING FIRE HOSE.

That has nothing to do with what kind of beer you're drinking. He's only talking about how you drink it. Which means Bud Light could be any fucking beer. And you know what? That's exactly what fucking Bud Light is. "Bud Light: It's Any Fucking Beer."

Jesus. I've taken the liberty of providing the rest of America's brewmasters with brand new campaign strategies modeled after Bud Light's late-term abortion of a campaign. Are you ready to have your minds blown?

"Miller Lite: The Beer With Foam!"
"Heineken: It Comes In Bottles!"
"Busch: It's Got Alcohol In It!"
"Schlitz: The Beer With Very Small Bubbles In It!"
"Sam Adams: You Can Drink It Out Of A Glass!"
"Natural Light: It Makes You Urinate!"
"Yuengling: The Beer You Drink If You Want To Get In A Fight And Piss The Bed!"

Retards."

EHS: Slope day or mardi gras in EVL?
TRIPLE: Can't pick here both glorious days


EHS: Best city to get down with all the get down
TRIPLE: Aspen and its not close!


EHS: Could you tell us about your experiences in Hopatcong NJ
TRIPLE: Facts about New Jersey:

-Bartenders are douchbags
-Beds are slippery
-Hotel hallways are full of laughing gas
-Hotel parking lots spin making it hard to walk

EHS: Best party jam, Inb4 love generation
TRIPLE: Taylor Dayne: Tell it to my heart
Styx: Renegade

EHS: Drinking can seriously increase your vulnerability so it's important to be aware of what's going on around you. Just following these few tips on a night out can make a huge difference to your well-being and ensure you have a good night.
Before a night out check that you have:

A fully charged mobile phone
Money
Keys
Condom
Personal safety alarm

Your thoughts?

TRIPLE: A fully charged mobile phone- one more thing to lose, fuck it leave it at home
Money- no smart ass comment here, impossible to get blackout with out some caaaayyysh
Keys- see mobile phone
Condom- gives you diseases
Personal safety alarm- aka a another beer


EHS: red/black, high/low, outside/in the middle, suit.
TRIPLE: black(for obama), high, outside, king muthafucka


EHS: I feel we should play Louisville chugger over Thanksgiving, would this be an activity you would be interested in?
TRIPLE: I'm actually disappointed you think this is a question rather than just a statement of fact

No You Are

How in the hell do you make this mistake?

amidoingitrite

Show Me Your Party Face!!!

I gots to sit down via the intergoogles with one of our very own EHS writers The Liquid Blazer, to ask him a few questions for our new segment, "show me your party face." I asked him ten questions pertaining to all sorts of real deep shit about life and drinking, and this is what he had to say....

EHS: Favorite drink?

LB: A frosty brew. 

EHS: Favorite time to party? 

LB: What kind of question is this?

EHS: Favorite party moment? 

LB: Birthday suit boat night. 

EHS: What inspires you to party? 

LB: The funk

EHS: Who would you party with? That could be anyone.....anyone and why?

LB: Old Greg, I've always wanted to drink Bailey's from a shoe. 

EHS: Favorite place to get loose?

LB: Big deafening/blinding nightclubs.

EHS: Your thoughts on the current scotch shortage?

LB: I know the credit crisis and ailing economy is important, but the government need to look at the larger problems, like the scotch shortage and development of diluted vadkas.

EHS: Four parter: red or balck, high or low, outside or in the middle, suit?

LB: Red, High, Middle, Hearts.

EHS: David Hasseloff of Patrick Swayze?

LB: Fat Pat no doubt.

EHS: Who would you rather do, Cinderella or Snow White?

LB: Cinderella. Snow White's box is to chilly.   

EHS: Thanks Blazer for taking the time to get all crazy with us.

LB: KEEP IT STEAMY!!!!!!!!!

I Never Exhaled

Andy Martin created a stop motion animated video to Paul Steel's little ditty, Honkin' On My Crack Pipe. I am sure somewhere Amy Winehouse is stewing over the fact she did not come up with idea first.

Remember kids drugs are bad! 

It's An Unbalanced Load!!!!

I hope this joke never dies!!

Wait I Will Not Stand For This To Be Anything Other Than a Good Time

The story went a little something like this.......

Two years or so ago on a Wednesday, I was walking into the beer cooler at our local Wegmans, and stumbled on what can be described as one of the greatest beer buys ever. Yes kids I am talking about the mini-keg!  for those who do not know you are all fucking suckers, just playin', but you need to get on the ones and twos. 

The Labatts brewing company located in the nether regions of Canada, a.k.a Americas hat, sells an item worthy to be called beautiful. Filled with golden tasty lager goodness for only $21.00, 1/8 kegs or Mini-kegs hold about 45 cold ones, and any red blooded American who buys thirty racks knows it's about 19 and some change for bud light. The beauty part in the whole deal would have to be the absence of paper work the buyer must fill out...you know, that little yellow sticker your grocer places on the side that states, "I'm the fucking Dumb ass that bought this keg and gave it to my underage friend to bring to a hike school party, and now I am facing 42 counts of under age drinking charges" yeah that little sticker, however the deposit is 30 beans (ouch). So if you do decide to go with the money deal, remember to keep the shell, don't let your idiot friends throw it off the side of the boat. With that said, lets talk about a little tradition we have dubbed, "Mini-Keg Wednesdays," and it goes a lil something like this.....

That fateful day has brought upon great tradition to chautauqua lake by the way of cold sippy treats, good friends, and boats. Every Wednesday from then on the liquid blazer and I rounded up the troops to celebrate drinking, and hard core hip-hop beats. Incidentally we also stumbled upon Falcon's Landing, the go to spot on the lake for late night drinking, or drinking anytime really.  

so without further interruption I will leave you with thoughts of summer, and beer drinks with friends....      

    

A Video Worthy To Be On EHS

Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos- As Tall As Cliffs

The song is so so but the video is great! 

President George W. getting loose 

I'll Just Put This Here

Almost Famous

"Brodie Waffles"....what can be said about him that already hasn't been said about Hannah Schuler...He looks tired and depleted, rode hard and put away wet. It is common knowledge that brodie waffles in not in the best shape of his life, hes had many long but enjoyable years that have seemed to pass by so quick...I can remember his beginning years when the waffle was merely a pup....the waffle was the best behaved of the litter when we went to choose him and that same mellowness has followed him threw his years of life except for when he chewed the shit out of my bed. Hes been beat up by neighbor hood dogs, and when he was not able to retaliate I did with a full CO2 and a hopper full of paintballs. Brodie goes to the vet, eats dog food, and likes biscuits. His favorite past time is eating grass, and not lifting his leg to pee....mainly because he is just old. Brodie doesnt wear a collar because he is not a fan of them. He is up to date on all his shots, and enjoys a good scratch behind the ears or on his belly. Im pretty sure brodie has never been laid, and he doesnt have balls. You can almost always catch brodie in the VIP section of the hottest night club enjoying a good line of blow. He doesnt wear shoes, or clothes. Brodie sleeps on a floor bed. Waffles enjoys snow but only for a couple weeks then he gets cold. He wears a walkman because after 10 minutes because he gets bored. He can swim but doesnt like the water. He is groomed monthly and sheds fur. My dog is awesome and although it might take him 7 minutes to lay down he still has many years left and would like to visit florida again. He likes florida but thinks it can be hot at times.



I really didnt know what the fuck to write...post this on the blog...everyone will love it.

The Wiz

Just wanted to bring back a classic and maybe school some newbies in the process!!!

The buck Stops With Chuck

Well kids it's been awhile since I last posted, and I thought why not start off with our good friend Chase. Last entry Stay Pokin' was the salutation of the day, but this time we are going to fuckin' kick it up a notch, and take 'em to the limit!!!!!!!!

Chase likes to throw this little gem out there, I think for his own twisted enjoyment because I have no fucking clue how to interpret it. The phrase is "Keep It Steamy," and I hope you understand the quandary I am faced with. The sheer multitude of innuendo, colloquilaism, or dick and fart humor is perplexing, to say the least. What's really intriguing, is the spark in Chase's head when he decided to end informal conversations with "Keep It Steamy." I could go into great detail about what it could be in reference to, but you can infer what you will.  

so let's use it in a sentence, shall we....

Marc Fresh: Well I gots to be all up out this bizzznatch, big weekend coming up! 

Chase: (said as white as possible) Yo player, keep it real out in the streets, yo.

Fresh: It's all good homie, aint no thang like the great Notorious BIG once said..."Poppa been smooth since days of underroos."

Chase: Werd.....Keep It Steamy!!

Fresh: Troof!

And that EHS readers is how you do it!!

Remember kids this weekends drink of choice will be the Brad Turner special..... anything you're buying cause he is not 21. Keep waiting brad, these next five months will pass by quick enough.