I'll Take The Fifth, And Can You Call My Father?

Recently our good friend B-Rad from the Lakehood found himself all sorts of drunk, and in the police station over the holiday break. B-Rad claims that he was soooooo black out that he can’t remember what exactly happened, only to come out of his drunken retardation while being questioned in the police station.
That night B-Rad was with a group of mutuial friends at the Gin Mill Bar, in Ellicottville NY, and left around 1:30. Heading west on Washington st., B-Rad made it a whole 200ft down the road to the intersection, and decided that the easiest way home was boring and turned left onto Jefferson because that seemed like way more fun. So, In B-Rad’s extremely intoxicated state, he wanders about a mile or so in the wrong direction to find a fence of epic proportion to climb. Seeing that sweet sweet fence, B-Rad instantly goes into extreme adventure mode, and attacks this thing like Plaxico Burress with a handgun. Only to be stopped shortly after by Ellicottville’s finest in a hail gunfire and a barrage of attack dogs, well no, but I am sure they had flashlights.
When B-Rad came out of his drunken coma, he was sitting in the police station being asked a series of questions, and not responding to any of them because he was not aware of what events occurred earlier that night. He finally gave his address and phone number to the fuzz so they could call his pops, at 2:30 in the morning. B-Rad received two tickets that night, drunk and disorderly, and underage possession of alcohol (bummer).
The cops told B-Rad’s father they found twinkle nuts trying to climb a fence that night. So the next day B-Rad and his father drove around town trying to recap the night’s fun and find this alleged fence. Well you know the fence of epic proportion B-Rad was trying to climb, they found it, and in all of its monumental stature of four feet. Yes, that’s right chuckbag was sooooo drunk; he was struggling to climb a four foot three post fence one mile in the opposite direction of his house to be arrested by the police. Real Fuckin’ Sweet, I mean that’s good shit. That stunt deserves you a nickname like Three-post sally, double o negative, Ima huge D-bag, or walk a lot B-Rad. I now have a new found respect for your ability to drink, navigate, and climb. KUDOS!
So, there is no moral to this story that I can think of other than…. If you are going to get that drunk, you better have a good lawyer.

A hat off B-Rad EHS salutes you!